Less Is More

I was able to go camping this week with my family. I love the times when we get to go and spend time by ourselves. We go to places where I’ve grown up camping my whole life. I have made so many good memories with my family. We always have a good time.  But I’ve noticed, during and even for a short time after our trips, our attitudes change, mine included.

It’s been my observation, and I’m sure it’s been others’ as well, that once we get more of what we want, the more we end up wanting. When we go camping, we tend to get a lot of things we don’t normally get at home. Especially when Dad’s in charge. J Today was our last day in the campground. As we were packing up, we all started complaining and whining. I began feeling entitled to being somewhat pampered and felt the need to be “treated differently.” I felt like I was being told to do everything and that people were getting mad at me for no good reason. My whole point of view changed. I had to have certain things and things done my way or I couldn’t be happy. Or so I felt.

This way of thinking is very common. It’s present in many families around the world. Like I said earlier, it is the product of having received too much of what is wanted. I’ve seen many examples of entitlement, even among my friends. There’s a chain reaction of things that happen: someone gets something they want, they start asking for more, they get it, they want even more, parents say no, they’re angry and don’t know how to handle it, parents give in to their child’s anger/sadness, child becomes entitled and feels they need everything they want, they become disrespectful to parents and parents feel that the only way to handle it is by giving them what more of what they want. This is the pattern I’ve seen often. It makes me very sad to see people my age so disrespectful to the ones that raised them and nurtured them. I also despair at the parents who don’t know how to handle it, even with younger children.

The familiar phrase, “1-2-3” from parents is an attempt to keep younger children in control, but most of the time it doesn’t work. It’s really just a struggle for power and a pull at strings to stay in charge. When there is entitlement, people need structure. I have had the great blessing to have parents who have the skills needed to keep control and respect, yet keep us humble and happy.

I only hope that I’m not the only one who sees this. It’s only becoming worse. But, I know that it can be helped and that life is happier when you appreciate what you have.

Gratitude

Earlier today, I was in the car with a friend of mine. If you know me, I’m quite the chatterbox. Somehow we got onto the topic of my mother and how it’s a miracle she’s even here. My mom has been through a lot and it has blessed her so much and, in turn, me. When she was younger, she had an accident that has altered her life ever since. I started talking about things that happened when my mother was younger and I realized that I really take her for granted most of the time. I finally started to see how much my mom and my whole family mean to me. It got me thinking about everything I love and am so grateful for. For instance, I have a family reunion this weekend and I can’t wait. I love being with my extended family and strengthening those relationships that are so important. Although I’m only 17, I understand how crucial those people are in my life.

I’ve also come to understand how easy I’ve had life thus far. I have the luxury of having a car at my disposal most of the time. Part of the deal of me getting to drive the car is that I have to keep it somewhat clean and I have to pay for my own gas, which is fine by me, unless, of course, I spend all of my money on things I really don’t need. I’ve done that a couple of times. I had no money for gas and I had places to be. I’m so grateful to my parents for letting me “suffer” with those small, petty challenges. It makes me more humble and less entitled. I’m grateful for what I have and for the opportunities I have had to progress and learn and grow. I feel very blessed for the many things that my parents have paid for so that I may be a better “me.” I thank them in my heart daily. I really should say it out loud more often.

I’ve tried to adopt and live by an “Attitude of Gratitude.” By doing so, I’ve been able to be much more optimistic than normal. I try to see the light in every situation, even if there seems to be none. It has been a blessing to have that extra happiness. And, it all comes from recognizing blessings and being grateful for them.

Today has been a reflection of all of the things that I really appreciate. I encourage you to contemplate at least 10 things that you are TRULY grateful for and then take the time to thank God sincerely for them. It is worth it. Once you think of others, you lose yourself in your love for them.

The Sisterly Bond

For the longest time now, I have had the pleasure of having a sister. It has been the best thing I’ve ever had. There are times that I can’t stand her, but the special times that I’ve had with her far outweigh the times that she bugs me. I have learned to appreciate everything she does.

There was one day, a few years ago, where my sister and I had a disagreement and we both started fighting. It was the worst moment I’ve ever had with my sister. In that moment, I held her in contempt. I was selfish and didn’t want anything to do with her. About a half hour later, I hear a knock on my door. I open it and there’s my sister, just standing there. Before I could shut the door in her face, she looked at me, handed me a handwritten note, and then left without a word. I thought that it was a little weird and I didn’t want to even open the note. But I did, and it said something like this:

            “Dear Paije,

I’m sorry that I got angry with you earlier today. I hate it when we fight. But, sisters fight sometimes. I want you to know that I love you. Thanks for being a good sister.”

That hit me straight to the core. I was amazed at my sister’s ability to forgive so easily and quickly. In that moment, she taught me so much. She was more mature than I was. I realized that I needed to forgive and love my sister more.

I only have one sister, which makes for many special moments. I have had many opportunities to build and strengthen my relationship. My sister and I are best friends. It has been a lifelong process and we grow to love each other more and more each day.

It wasn’t always this strong though. A few years ago, I wasn’t mature or smart enough to know what a great sister I had. I had a revelation. I knew I needed to improve my relationship with her. But I didn’t quite know how. I contemplated it and found my weakness and problem. I found that I needed to be more selfless and care about her more. If she was going to mean a lot to me, I had to sacrifice a bit of my time to be able to really value hers. I started looking for things to do for her that would make her happy, even if those things seemed small and insignificant. I had to think about her, not me.

As I began being more and more thoughtful about her and her needs, I became aware of her actions towards me and of my thoughts concerning her. She was more attentive and kind to me and I thought more about what would make her happy and what she might need.

This not only applies to sisters, but to all siblings and others not related as well. I have found that once selfish interests are forgotten, the welfare and happiness of others begins to come easily to the forefront and replaces the desire to do things only for oneself.

I am thankful for my sister and my family. That gratitude continues to grow daily. I know that once the effort to improve relationships is made, it isn’t wasted.